(no subject)
May. 16th, 2019 03:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nola_grantairei'm about to move out of my home and in with my bf, and i'm nervous about it. i ran away from home like 10 years ago and ever since then i've been homeless or living in squats, occupying space outside society. i've literally never stayed in a legitimate home since i had to leave where i grew up.
there are all the good things about it, like being safe, because the squat i'm in is getting dangerous, and having running water and electricity and whatever. and being with a guy who makes my entire heart flip over. but it feels like being a class traitor or like i'm ungrateful to all the anarchists and communists and even dsa members who have given me hospitality.
idk. it's a big change for me and i don't know how it's going to work out. and maybe it means i'll be more stable and maybe that'll lead to reliably getting t or whatever, but this feels big and hard in ways i don't know how to handle. also if it doesn't work out with my bf then what will i do?
but it's exciting. and it means everything. i'm so grateful to everyone who has helped me get out of unlivable situation after unlivable situation. you're all the reasons i'm alive.
i'm saying all of this bc i want to be honest about my feelings and so that if anyone who is reading this is anxious about big changes in their lives, maybe you can see that you're not alone. we all walk into new things afraid, but you're never, ever alone. i'm sending you love and light on your journey and i'm walking beside you the whole time.
there are all the good things about it, like being safe, because the squat i'm in is getting dangerous, and having running water and electricity and whatever. and being with a guy who makes my entire heart flip over. but it feels like being a class traitor or like i'm ungrateful to all the anarchists and communists and even dsa members who have given me hospitality.
idk. it's a big change for me and i don't know how it's going to work out. and maybe it means i'll be more stable and maybe that'll lead to reliably getting t or whatever, but this feels big and hard in ways i don't know how to handle. also if it doesn't work out with my bf then what will i do?
but it's exciting. and it means everything. i'm so grateful to everyone who has helped me get out of unlivable situation after unlivable situation. you're all the reasons i'm alive.
i'm saying all of this bc i want to be honest about my feelings and so that if anyone who is reading this is anxious about big changes in their lives, maybe you can see that you're not alone. we all walk into new things afraid, but you're never, ever alone. i'm sending you love and light on your journey and i'm walking beside you the whole time.
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Date: 2019-05-17 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 12:49 am (UTC)hi i love you
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Date: 2019-05-17 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 12:56 am (UTC)want to drink?? a lot?? right now??
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Date: 2019-05-17 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:02 am (UTC)yess!! let's do it somewhere we can look at boys
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:08 am (UTC)babe i know, but you're also MY favorite, did you know
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:14 am (UTC)tell me about your day
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:23 am (UTC)gross, having "stuff to do". how was being at teddy's
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:32 am (UTC)still athletic????
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:40 am (UTC)are you exclusive yet, does he love you, tell me all the thoughts and feelings and sex details
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:48 am (UTC)k tell me more
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Date: 2019-05-17 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 01:54 am (UTC)omg fine but hurry up i need to knowwww
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Date: 2019-05-17 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 02:03 am (UTC)drinking without you!!!!
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Date: 2019-05-17 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-17 02:12 am (UTC)i know! you gotta get here
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Date: 2019-05-18 03:13 am (UTC)That's something my den mother used to say to me whenever I needed to talk but didn't necessarily need more than that. I mean, if you do need more, I can also do more. I am very good at doing a lot more than necessary. But really, you are seen, you are heard, and I am grateful for you.
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Date: 2019-05-18 03:20 am (UTC)i need more
i mean i’m very grateful for this but i’m freaking out so if you wanna do more than necessary please do??
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Date: 2019-05-18 03:38 am (UTC)On it! Do you need a roommate agreement to feel secure? I could draft one up and we could go over it together and--
Wait.
No. Boyfriend stuff. Reorienting.
I love you and I want to work with you to burn down the corrupt system and we are going to give everyone who ever fell through the cracks a safe place to land and I am coming to kiss you right now.
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Date: 2019-05-18 03:41 am (UTC)yes, come kiss me. boyfriend stuff needed.
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Date: 2019-05-18 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-05-18 04:07 am (UTC)aww thanks <3 <3