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(no subject)
Jun. 16th, 2019 08:46 pmi ran away from home when I was 14 years old because my father (and my mother) was dangerously abusive. i fkn hate family or parent days. everyone looks at me like i'm the worst person if i tell them i hate my parents or never talk to them or like, y'know, wish they suffered.
my life is under attack every single day in this country under this administration and my own family, who are supposed to be the ones that make me feel safe, were the first people to ever attack me for who i am. families are bullshit, blood means nothing. my father told me he hoped i would die on the streets. i almost did.
i don't want their blood or any kinship to them.
i live in a nice apartment now with a busy boyfriend who bought me a lot of plants to keep me company. i like plants. i talk to them and tend to them and sing to them and keep them in good shape. i will never have children, bc i should never be a parent, bc i know that parents can destroy people. bc i will never be able to give children a good childhood. it's a miracle that i am actually kind of safe right now. i'll never be safe in my lifetime, probably, but somehow i'm cared for and in a home that isn't condemned. i'm lucky.
idek what i'm saying. just, fuck today. and i have wine and "other stuff" so if today is fucked up for you too come over and we'll black out together.
my life is under attack every single day in this country under this administration and my own family, who are supposed to be the ones that make me feel safe, were the first people to ever attack me for who i am. families are bullshit, blood means nothing. my father told me he hoped i would die on the streets. i almost did.
i don't want their blood or any kinship to them.
i live in a nice apartment now with a busy boyfriend who bought me a lot of plants to keep me company. i like plants. i talk to them and tend to them and sing to them and keep them in good shape. i will never have children, bc i should never be a parent, bc i know that parents can destroy people. bc i will never be able to give children a good childhood. it's a miracle that i am actually kind of safe right now. i'll never be safe in my lifetime, probably, but somehow i'm cared for and in a home that isn't condemned. i'm lucky.
idek what i'm saying. just, fuck today. and i have wine and "other stuff" so if today is fucked up for you too come over and we'll black out together.
(no subject)
May. 16th, 2019 03:02 pmi'm about to move out of my home and in with my bf, and i'm nervous about it. i ran away from home like 10 years ago and ever since then i've been homeless or living in squats, occupying space outside society. i've literally never stayed in a legitimate home since i had to leave where i grew up.
there are all the good things about it, like being safe, because the squat i'm in is getting dangerous, and having running water and electricity and whatever. and being with a guy who makes my entire heart flip over. but it feels like being a class traitor or like i'm ungrateful to all the anarchists and communists and even dsa members who have given me hospitality.
idk. it's a big change for me and i don't know how it's going to work out. and maybe it means i'll be more stable and maybe that'll lead to reliably getting t or whatever, but this feels big and hard in ways i don't know how to handle. also if it doesn't work out with my bf then what will i do?
but it's exciting. and it means everything. i'm so grateful to everyone who has helped me get out of unlivable situation after unlivable situation. you're all the reasons i'm alive.
i'm saying all of this bc i want to be honest about my feelings and so that if anyone who is reading this is anxious about big changes in their lives, maybe you can see that you're not alone. we all walk into new things afraid, but you're never, ever alone. i'm sending you love and light on your journey and i'm walking beside you the whole time.
there are all the good things about it, like being safe, because the squat i'm in is getting dangerous, and having running water and electricity and whatever. and being with a guy who makes my entire heart flip over. but it feels like being a class traitor or like i'm ungrateful to all the anarchists and communists and even dsa members who have given me hospitality.
idk. it's a big change for me and i don't know how it's going to work out. and maybe it means i'll be more stable and maybe that'll lead to reliably getting t or whatever, but this feels big and hard in ways i don't know how to handle. also if it doesn't work out with my bf then what will i do?
but it's exciting. and it means everything. i'm so grateful to everyone who has helped me get out of unlivable situation after unlivable situation. you're all the reasons i'm alive.
i'm saying all of this bc i want to be honest about my feelings and so that if anyone who is reading this is anxious about big changes in their lives, maybe you can see that you're not alone. we all walk into new things afraid, but you're never, ever alone. i'm sending you love and light on your journey and i'm walking beside you the whole time.
(no subject)
Apr. 24th, 2019 12:24 pmthere was a tiny fire at the house last night and now we're out of power again so does anyone want to give me their obnoxious expensive candles? it's for a good cause.
(no subject)
Mar. 24th, 2019 12:09 pmhello, do you need broken things repaired? want someone to help you move? idk, want someone to clean your apartment? hit me up. i'm looking for some extra work.
Previous Name: Grantaire
Myth: Les Miserables (Musical, mostly)
Past Life Information: Grantaire was a French revolutionary who fell in with a group of young rabble-rousers determined to make a better life for the people. Grantaire, however, was the cynic. He didn't believe in the revolution, not really, but he liked the boys who banded together for the cause, and he did believe in their leader Enjolras (a fine statue of a man). He never believed in anything like he believed in Enjolras, not even wine. And maybe Enjolras didn't believe in Grantaire (because he believed in nothing, because he's a bad drunk, because he worshiped Enjolras) but that's fine. To look upon him was enough. So yes, he was there during revolutionary plans, he was around for the fighting, and when Enjolras was about to die, Grantaire didn't hesitate: he rose to die beside him, hand-in-hand. A revolutionary, finally, in name and deed. And finally on the same level as the only person he ever thought was worth anything.
Current Name: Gabriel Love
Age: 22
Occupation: Community organizer and activist
Personality: Gabriel is a bit of a mess, but he doesn't really see it that way. He's been through a lot of upheaval and trauma, and he self-medicates with a lot of weed and a lot of booze, and when he can't handle his life, he goes to his bed and sleeps for days. But apart from that, or intertwined with that, he is a loving, emotional, soul-naked kind of guy. You always know what he's feeling; it's written all over his face. He loves wine and song and his friends. He likes fixing things. He's proudly alone or profoundly alone, depending on the day. If things get too real, he'll crack jokes and/or flirt with you. Even if he's drunk, you probably want him around.
Background: Gabriel never really felt close to his family, who tried to keep him in line with taunts and physical abuse. Things only became worse when it was apparent that Gabriel was trans; at fifteen, he ran away from home and originally landed in New York. There, he drifted in and out of shelters, queer-friendly nonprofits, and sometimes in hospitals, trying to get his mental health under control. Sometimes he had a prescription for T, sometimes he didn't, but he always got it. A few good eggs in activist and anarchist spaces helped Gabriel make it through those tumultuous years, and when he hit 21, he knew it was time to try to make his own life, and New York was too chaotic for him. He settled on New Orleans because it was a city like a poem, because it was bursting and imperfect and wonderful, and he just knew they'd be good together. So far, they have been. Gabriel wrote his own names -- he is only beholden to his own feelings, in life, as a rule -- and wears them proudly. He lives in a communal squat with a bunch of anarchists. The building is an abandoned one, and it's crumbling, but it's lovingly maintained by the collective. They own nothing individually, share everything, and there's always something to eat or someone to talk to. Gabriel isn't sure if he's an anarchist, or a communist, or a socialist, or WHATEVER, but these are the people who have always accepted and loved him and fought for his rights, so these are the people he feels safest around. Also, these are people who are out there punching Nazis, and if you wouldn't punch a fucking Nazi, he doesn't want to know you.
Current Status: Unaware
Myth: Les Miserables (Musical, mostly)
Past Life Information: Grantaire was a French revolutionary who fell in with a group of young rabble-rousers determined to make a better life for the people. Grantaire, however, was the cynic. He didn't believe in the revolution, not really, but he liked the boys who banded together for the cause, and he did believe in their leader Enjolras (a fine statue of a man). He never believed in anything like he believed in Enjolras, not even wine. And maybe Enjolras didn't believe in Grantaire (because he believed in nothing, because he's a bad drunk, because he worshiped Enjolras) but that's fine. To look upon him was enough. So yes, he was there during revolutionary plans, he was around for the fighting, and when Enjolras was about to die, Grantaire didn't hesitate: he rose to die beside him, hand-in-hand. A revolutionary, finally, in name and deed. And finally on the same level as the only person he ever thought was worth anything.
Current Name: Gabriel Love
Age: 22
Occupation: Community organizer and activist
Personality: Gabriel is a bit of a mess, but he doesn't really see it that way. He's been through a lot of upheaval and trauma, and he self-medicates with a lot of weed and a lot of booze, and when he can't handle his life, he goes to his bed and sleeps for days. But apart from that, or intertwined with that, he is a loving, emotional, soul-naked kind of guy. You always know what he's feeling; it's written all over his face. He loves wine and song and his friends. He likes fixing things. He's proudly alone or profoundly alone, depending on the day. If things get too real, he'll crack jokes and/or flirt with you. Even if he's drunk, you probably want him around.
Background: Gabriel never really felt close to his family, who tried to keep him in line with taunts and physical abuse. Things only became worse when it was apparent that Gabriel was trans; at fifteen, he ran away from home and originally landed in New York. There, he drifted in and out of shelters, queer-friendly nonprofits, and sometimes in hospitals, trying to get his mental health under control. Sometimes he had a prescription for T, sometimes he didn't, but he always got it. A few good eggs in activist and anarchist spaces helped Gabriel make it through those tumultuous years, and when he hit 21, he knew it was time to try to make his own life, and New York was too chaotic for him. He settled on New Orleans because it was a city like a poem, because it was bursting and imperfect and wonderful, and he just knew they'd be good together. So far, they have been. Gabriel wrote his own names -- he is only beholden to his own feelings, in life, as a rule -- and wears them proudly. He lives in a communal squat with a bunch of anarchists. The building is an abandoned one, and it's crumbling, but it's lovingly maintained by the collective. They own nothing individually, share everything, and there's always something to eat or someone to talk to. Gabriel isn't sure if he's an anarchist, or a communist, or a socialist, or WHATEVER, but these are the people who have always accepted and loved him and fought for his rights, so these are the people he feels safest around. Also, these are people who are out there punching Nazis, and if you wouldn't punch a fucking Nazi, he doesn't want to know you.
Current Status: Unaware
